Self - Love - Find out who you are

You took birth, you lived, and you died. People remember you for your good work and bad, but in this entire life what did you do for yourself? Self-love is about your need.

There is a difference between need and want. Self-love is “love to yourself” and so it demands to fulfill your needs first. We get busy with daily life and make a general routine for ourselves where we plan to balance our social and work life. We ignore our mental, emotional and spiritual needs and trust me if you really want to balance personal as well as professional relations in life, first you will have to start loving yourself. You might have this question in mind that why do you need to “Self Love” when you already like yourself?

One need to understand the deepness of “You liking yourself” and “You loving yourself”. I like myself when I get appreciation at work by manager, I like to go to a bar, I like to date rich men but do I love myself at this; this is where you catch the narrow line separating like and love.


A person cannot love anyone more than he loves himself/herself. If you are reading this article that means you want to know more about self love. Inspirational quotes, articles, people, and other sources might guide you to love yourself but it is you actually responsible for yourself. Be friends with your inner voice. Our brain and heart are very clever. They try to win over each other but you need to make a balance of both while making decisions for yourself. Okay just think for a minute about the moment you did not share with anybody. There are many feelings to stop you from loving yourself. You downgrade yourself with negativity, you think you are not beautiful, you are wrong because you did not succeed yet, you are useless and worthless among people, you have not achieved anything, no one respects you and so but did you ever think about the lessons you got from failures. There is actually no failure; It is just the result you think about. If the result is not as per your expectation, you take it as failure and you start building a net full of depression, laziness, arrogance, temper, rudeness to trap that failure which results in change of behavior and adverse things. Only solution to this is accepting what you have done and what you have learnt from the mistakes.

Self-love is dynamic. It is different for different people. You join different professions by choice, you try to like it, and yes, you do! Then why are you not feeling well from inside about that profession. As I said, we do not plan about what we need but we run after what we want and this takes us to a stage where we are surrounded with things we always wanted. At this stage, you miss your ‘need’. You get married to a girl who is beautiful as u wanted but she does not understand you, which you will always need. This is very decent example to show you that there are people you need to choose carefully to make sure that your love for yourself is never ending. Okay let us talk about from where to start now. How would you love yourself? Do not mix it with selfishness, arrogance, and self-centeredness. Self-love is a popular term used worldwide to make people aware of their duties to their own soul and body. First step is to know about your faces. The Japanese say that you have three faces. The First face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your family and close friends. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the true reflection of who you are. I would like to mention Bollywood movie ‘Tamasha’ that tried to present the idea of third face. Self-love is to search who you are. Yes, everyone knows that you are an employee of Xyz Company but do you know who you are. Evaluate yourself to know about you. What do you hide from everyone and why? What threaten you actually? Where do you think you are happy? Where do you compromise and why? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you love to eat? What do you need a partner actually?

Once you know the answers for these, you know about yourself. Next step is Self-protection. You should accept you flaws and weaknesses. Thinking that people make fun of you at things you do not know and it is better to hide them will never work. It will kill you daily. Every night you will plan to escape from the reality. Every day you will try to ignore those topics because you are protecting them. Stop doing that. Accept and explore. It will make you feel good about your power to confront your flaws. Trust me this exercise will make you feel confident next time you walk among people. Self-care is another step. See how you look. How do you walk? What suits you better? Seeing yourself smart then ordinary fills you with joy. You want to walk to places you have been hesitant. Eat nutritious food. It keeps you energetic and reduces fat. Try to work on weight gain or loss. Include workout in your routine. Love your skin. Moisturize it. Be clean and clean your wardrobe. It might sound like lifestyle talk but it is what matters a lot when you love yourself. You Start feeling very organized and it comforts you. It is not about changing yourself. It is just a routine to Self- love. Self-love is not self-indulgence. You should remember that you are in a society so you have to schedule your time for you and others. Appreciate yourself for you goodness’ and move on from bad. Understand that no one is perfect and human makes mistakes. Try to see yourself as human. Many of us keep pushing ourselves towards negatives. We blame ourselves and become harsh to self for one wrong by us. It is not going to work at all rather it will pull you into darkness where you will be alone. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself as kid. Forgive yourself and start living intentionally. Plan everything but do not get too hard over results. Set boundaries and try to talk to yourself because you are everything and prior. Make a list ‘what’s working for you’ and be your life coach. Everything you read until now might feel very unrealistic to you but I will suggest you to take any one point from this article to start with Self-love and I bet you will find a difference in your life. Stop comparing yourself and be mindful. Our first duty is to make ourselves happy. Start loving yourself. It is never too late.

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