Can Living Together Before Marriage Spark Your Married Life?

Living together as a couple before marriage has greatly increased since the 1900’s. It has also increased to 30 % since the last decade. Why do people live together before marriage? The first is because of our culture. It is naturally not appropriate to live together before marriage in our society. It means a violation of the religious and also of our society. Since religious ways have become less acceptable and family setting more open-minded, the old rules and customs have significantly dropped and now more couples are living together before marriage. When asked why couples live together the answer is normally economic benefits, rent assistance, and utilities.

However, the most popular deduction, in this case, is actually to become compatible as a husband and wife in the long run. Also, evidence suggests that living together before marriage highly decreases the chance of divorce. But it's far from being the truth. From the religious perspective, the question of living together before marriage is a “No”. While on the modern perspective, it is definitely a “Yes”. It might seem right that the prospect of living together or premarital sex might increase the intimacy of both the partners and would make them better informed to make sound decisions in their relationships. Hence it would build a strong marriage in the end. But a study conducted in the 1970s showed quite the opposite. It showed that living together before marriage leads to actually more marital unhappiness and maybe divorce. The study also described that the couples living together before marriage were more prone to splitting up than their opposites. The researchers named it the Cohabitation Effect. 

This cohabitation effect is based on various factors both societal and also psychological. Even if the couple didn't split up after marriage, there is still enough evidence which showed that they are more unhappy in their marriage than those who lived together after marriage. Another research also showed that the spouses who cohabited pre-marriage were more sulky and negative than the couples moved in after marriage. The reason was that as the cohabitation stage begins, a partial commitment pattern stars to be visible in our lives which becomes ingrained and it runs all our married life. Studies have suggested to stay and keep the relationship healthy and strong, important transitions are necessary. It might include whether to have sex or not, to have a baby or not or maybe to live together. This discussion will provide mutual involvement for both the partners and also help decide the future for both of them. 

When a couple starts to live together in an apartment with their normal utilities the will to break up becomes very difficult. It is because once two lives are mingled into one, splitting them and starting over again will be a lot of pain for both partners. That is why more prefer to go on as it is because that seems easier. But later this process becomes a real struggle. There is no absolute solution to this but if both the partners to agree to live together, they have to make decisions from an “our” perspective.

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