Relationship in India vs. Relationship in US

Relationships in various countries and places are exercised around their cultural beliefs in togetherness and values one must conduct being in one.

As I read in psychology, the main difference I found in the values of relationship between India and US is that, India follows the value to “togetherness” while US follows the value of “individualism”.

We have criticized the Western for not willing to compromise anything in their relationship, frequent divorces, and easily moving on to another partner. But this is mainly because they put their ‘self’ before anyone else. Also, a statistic shows that if divorces were so easy to obtain back in the days, India would probably be the number one country. It is because there has been a practice of unhealthy marriage systems for a very long time and it is out of society’s fear that many women keep bearing abuse and oblige their dominating husband rather than filing a divorce for peace and dignity in life.

But now India has developed out of that dark phase, and women have come out very open and can easily file a divorce if she isn’t happy with the marriage without fearing the judgements of the society.

1. - Traditional Family based relationships

Family bonds are the pillars of all the relationships in our country. Husband-wife, parents, in-laws, siblings. Our country has believed in a ‘Happy Home’ scenario where everyone’s happiness counts and everyone has their respected duty in the family. Our society has built in a way that it’s structured for all the men to do the earnings, the women to do their household chores and the children to study and become capable of settling in the society. For many years, ‘joint family’ concept was very crucial in our system. It was believed that family should stick to eachother no matter what. Yes, there will always be issues in compromising various things but the system worked out very well for people who truly cared for their blood-relations and were very helpful to eachother in their hard times. This system has built the feeling of emotion in every next generation offspring, as seen in most of the children. In US, even half a century ago, people had the ideals and values of family-based relationships which rapidly changed into ‘individualism’ and the modern ways of leading unstable relations.

2. - Nuclear Family

This system was accepted recently (in the last few decades) in India. The idea of families living as whole was abandoned by many who found it difficult to stay in joint families due to various reasons and different perceptions. In today’s time, women of our country have also started working breaking the old rules of duties of females in a household. This system has actually strengthen the bonds with respect given to eachother in terms of space, privacy and lifestyle. People look forward to family re-unions, and have also led a better living standard. Whereas, in US the concept of nuclear families is much older (beginning of the last century). Education for all, women empowerment and economic development were the basic reasons for a dramatic social change resulting in the perception of constituting a family.

3. - Arranged Marriages

Though it is a choice in our society today, it was a forceful practice in the earlier times. People in India have believed in arranged marriages even if one of the two individuals isn’t up for it. It is mostly because of the belief of preserving one’s cast and also religion for they believe their origins to be the purest and best. The ‘purity’ of the upcoming generations were more important than one’s happiness. Families often want to preserve their relation by marrying their children (despite of age gaps or compatibility differences). Whereas in the US, the concept of arranged marriage was hardly ever prevalent and a rarely seen feature in the country.

4. - Live-in Relationships

Indian society till date is not very accepting towards the concept of ‘live-in relationships’. Two unmarried people, in love, living together is still a taboo and children even fear of coming out open to others about their relationship. There are various people who do not even appreciate their children having any relation before marriage or before they cross the phase of doing a job. Whereas in US, this is accepted and practiced by many for a long long time. People believe in living together for knowing the compatibility level before they could marry eachother and settle down. Formal marriages were never a legal requirement for a man and woman to live together, and even their off springs were accepted by the society as ‘legal’ children.

5. - Same S*x Relationships

After a lot of country-wide debate, same-s*x relationship and marriages was finally accepted by most of the states in the US. Presently, there is a ‘G*y’ movement and people in the high offices are not shy of declaring their s*xual preferences, be it ‘g*y’ or ‘l*sbians’, making the country way ahead of what is inevitably come to all nations of today’s world. Whereas in India, recognition of the LGBT community is embroiled under legal tangle. Even after the Delhi high court pronouncements de-criminalizing the practice of same s*x relationships (particularly LGBT community), the issue is still awaiting Supreme court’s judgements who are seriously studying the implications of either to keep Article 377 of the constitution or strike it down thus de-criminalizing same s*x relationship.

Above all, the Real relationship is what is based on love, even upto the extent of unconditional love – deep sympathy for the loved one – an open mind which finally lead us to possess a loving soul. Modern day economic conditions, unusual mental stress, past experiences of the individuals especially women, childhood abuses, hurt emotions causing psychological disorders – all of these determine the type of relationship and their sustenance

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