Friendships are unique relationships because unlike family relationships, we choose to enter into them. And unlike other voluntary bonds, like marriages and romantic relationships, they lack a formal structure. There are three expectations of a close friend “Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy. These expectations remain the same, but the circumstances under which they’re accomplished change.”
Friendships come and go but then there are friendships that do stand the test of time, through all kinds of ups, downs, and changes. In adulthood, as people grow up and go away, friendships are the relationships most likely to take a hit. The beautiful, special thing about friendship, that friends are friends because they want to be, that they choose each other, “because one can choose to get in, and then can choose to get out.†The voluntary nature of friendships thus make it temporary sometimes.
“To keep friends is very different from to have friends.†Having friends can be one sided, You may have a lot of friends while being able to keep friends denotes a deep mutuality of give and take. You can have a friend, but can you keep a friend? Characteristics of friendship that keeps, that withstands the test of time are:
You can call the friends you keep for help and they expect nothing in return. They are equally excited or even more thrilled about your triumphs than you are. You are not jealous of each other’s accomplishments
You can go months not talking because you are stuck up in your job or daily schedule but when you meet its like nothing has changed at all. You are the same old you when talking to your friend. You cherish your old memories and relive the new moments.
You don’t hesitate to text or call your friend first even if its after a long time or apologize if its your fault because relations are much easier to break than to keep.
You are honest with each other. If something hurts you or bothers you, you have the courage to clear that away with one another, and create new space for your friendship to flourish rather than to talk behind the back.
A good friend’s advice is always considered. And sometimes their mindset does influence yours. So its important for your friend to point out when you are taking a wrong path or to support you when you have taken a right decision .
Understand that not all of your friendships will last forever. When you have created a long-lasting friendship you will be able to recognize it. When you recognize that you have made one of these friends you should be willing to do the things necessary in order for that friendship to last, even during difficult times.
