New rules to make football more interesting and funny (must read for football lovers and football haters)!
Black Card: For the cost of some foul play by the player the opponent team is allowed to demand for one black card during the whole duration of the game. When the black card is in action for say 5 minutes the team committing the foul is suspended of its goalkeeper. It would be fun to see the defending drop their tartars and the attacking team in intense aggression to try and score a goal in the pressure of a golden opportunity. Imagine being awarded a penalty while the black card is in duration and more than that imagine a player so stupid who is unable to score one.
Brown Card: In the middle of the game and especially when the ball is in play the referee can pull out a brown card totally for the sake of his swagger and blow his brown card whistle. The brown card means during the course of the play the teams are required to switch goal posts and orient their whole arrangement accordingly. It will be a goalkeeper’s nightmare trying to either storm to the other post or trying to resist the urge to play striker for some time as he would be in the best position to score a goal for his team but leaving his own goal post naked.
Blue card: Actually the colour red would perfectly dictate the situation but since it’s already reserved blue would be the only option. As you might have guessed it involves violence, the blue card is raised on occasions when the both players from opposite team are engaged in a foul. So instead of giving a yellow card to both players the referee can raise a blue card and both players would have to engage in a small boxing match where who so ever lets out a squirt of blood of his body loses and is forced to go out of the field.
Pink card: The usual game of football is very hectic and offers no credibility to the referee except for being showered innumerable amount of abuse and aggression from the 22 players on the field. To give some gangsta swag to the referee he is given the ease of raising a pink card during which he can simply leave the field and take a chill or a massage. But the game is in play during this time and since there is no one to determine fouls so all fouls are permitted. Except for running with the ball in their hands. Players are free to hit anyone they like and while there is a gang war the best player would still be hungry for goals and he would score amidst the chaosuntil and unless someone else tries to spear him. The referee can come back whenever he feels like and the usual game routine is followed.
The middle finger: To give more swag to the referee he is granted another special power. If at all any player is rude to the referee (because the frequently are) the referee can simply give the player a cold stare and show him the middle finger as if he took out a revolver of his belt. When the player is shown the referee’s middle finger all fouls committed on him by players of the opponent team, his own team, streakers from the audience or even the water boy shall be ignored and overlooked. The penalized player has to regain the referees respect by begging or any means possible and if it strikes the mercy level of the referee he can show him a thumbs up thus relieving him of the punishment.
The best rule of them all: All cards can be employed at once.
A most possible scenario: North Korea or rather Kim Jong-un (or however that’s spelt) would love the game and seek out an opportunity to bring the world cup and glorify his nation. He would deploy his team and by some corrupt means a North Korean team and despite of all this its potentially possible that they might lose the game because a good team like Germany or Brazil or Spain or a team containing Ronaldo might beat them comprehensive. Kim would not take the embarrassment lightly and while the other team is lifting the world cup he would align his team and shot them one by one in the forehead.
