They think we are fighting each day for life. Honestly we are hoping someday between our lives to die. Better die than working yourself to death. Where is the peace in that? In your last dying moments you don’t want the feeling of your legs being crushed off you. That’s what we all do in here. We hope to die. Especially in the summer season when it is not raining. Rain will eventually bring false hope to a more brutal summer where you are certain that you won’t die of the heat but burn under it alive and during the nights you are trying hard against the weight of a thousand rocks, trying not to go kill yourself. They say in order to understand food you need to be hungry first, in order to understand happiness you need to be truly sad first, in order to feel triumph you need to lose first, well I say in order to understand the peace in death you need to feel the curse of immortality with the burden of the world’s labour upon yourself first. I have even dug a grave in the field so that someday I would I could try and work myself to death and when I feel it coming I would crawl with the last bits of life into my grave but sadly it is just body pain and my heart keeps beating healthy so that I can watch myself wither slowly to this monotony of life capable of killing you and yet keeping you alive.
And why am I not really doing it. I just reached an epiphany. Then why not. Because in my young age during my young spirit I made the mistake of marrying and raising a family. What was I thinking? Why did I even choose to bring a new life to this furnace of a land? Suicide was guilt free if I was alone but my kids, they fear pain so they wont kill themselves and if not they will crawl to death searching for water in the smallest of ditches. And then I saw him coming. Just when the dawn of night was falling. The most spirited amongst us all who could read and make jokes and had ability to make us smile at times. And he was smiling this time too almost and walking as if he was enjoying his little journey to I don’t know which odd destination he could find heaven in. For a moment it relieved me of my pain and all my senses concentrated on his image.
“Where you going brother” I inquired.
“A new place. Its good and its life over there. My kids and wife are also convinced and they are trailing my path. It’s a good place trust me, you can afford to sow the seeds just for yourself and it gives plenty in return. Go to my cottage you will know the rest of the details on how to reach there. I am in a hurry excuse me”
Perhaps he was arraigning transportation that’s why he left his family to come by itself. But I was simply curious what possible details to what possible place would have he left in his hut unprotected. So I went to his hut and in the way came across his wife and her two kids dancing through the way. It rained by the time I reached their. Rains were supposed to bring good faith and the emotions on his face seemed quite real too. Wonder what the detail could possibly be.
Oh yeah there was the detail. For a slight second, I actually thought something like this was only possible of lighting his face up like that. The butchered body of lady and butchered body of his kids all piled helplessly in one grave and his body hanging exactly like what Jesus would do to himself if he was to live the life that we live. I just saw down against a rock, enjoyed the cool rain and stared at the silhouette of his face traced in the array of rain drops and amidst of that the small intervals of thunder flashing a face whose eyes were almost ready to dangle out of its sockets and mouth as if sucked out of any air a head could possibly contain. But then I quickly got reminded of the exact same face when it smiled at me for the last time and if all of this sins and bloodshed were the cost to acquire it, it actually seemed like a pretty fair deal to me.
